


the march home (and what comes after)

by Ofwordsandroses



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Firelord Zuko (Avatar), Gen, Zuko is an Awkward Turtleduck, and also an idiot, and the staff just have to adopt him because he's ridiculous, zuko trying to navigate the royal life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-29
Updated: 2020-07-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:49:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25594567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ofwordsandroses/pseuds/Ofwordsandroses
Summary: Zuko wasn't cut out to be the firelord, he was lonely and quite frankly a mess and he had no idea what he's doing. And he still has no idea what he's doing but at least now, he feels a little less alone.
Comments: 34
Kudos: 430





	the march home (and what comes after)

Zuko is finally back home and yet it really doesn’t feel that way. Because Zuko finds that he doesn’t really like the royal life.

It leaves an odd taste in his mouth. This is what he has wanted for so long after all. Hasn’t he always wanted to return to the palace? Hasn’t he always wanted to be his father’s precious heir? Hasn’t he craved a soft bed and nice meals and a turtleduck pond that contains most of his happy memories?

The picturesque life he had wanted to return to felt like a distant memory.

The boy that had wanted those things felt like a distant memory as well.

That boy hadn’t fought in a war. That boy had believed that the only reason no one loved him was because he wasn’t worthy of love. That boy didn’t recognise that the only reason he had fond memories of the castle was because he had been too young to understand how he was only ever one misstep close to death. That boy had been privileged and blindly naïve.

Zuko isn’t that boy anymore.

Instead he is the leader of the fire nation and he still can’t sleep in a soft bed. He’s the fire lord and some of the last remainders of his family sit in a prison below where he eats. He’s the fire lord and sometimes he wants nothing more than to go back to Uncle’s ridiculous tea shop.

He is the fire lord and he has absolutely no idea what he’s doing.

He still has the turtleduck pond though.

That’s one plus.

Zuko tosses another piece of bread into the pond and watches as the turtleducks swim after it endearingly. The fire lord shouldn’t be sat beside a pond in the grass dirtying his probably very expensive robes.

Zuko finds that he doesn’t particularly care anymore.

Half of his nation hate him, the other half are calling for a civil war. He has to return all war prisoners and somehow avoid sparking another war when he goes to foreign political meetings about reparations. He's up to his ears in law reforms and military actions and Agni knows what else.

Zuko didn’t know how stopping the war had been easier than living without one.

The guards behind him cough in what they probably thought was a subtle manner that told Zuko it's time he went back indoors for his rigid meal time.

That's another thing about palace life. It isn’t just the responsibility that came from being the fire lord, it’s the palace itself.

Zuko is lonely.

For three years he had been exiled on a ship with his Uncle and his crew. He fell asleep to bawdy sailor tunes, the crashing waves and creaking pipes of the Wani. He had spent months running across the world with Uncle in chase of the avatar and spent just as long _with_ the avatar. Curled up beside a snoring Sokka and used as a personal hot water bottle by Toph. He's used to having a family, a misfit annoying tea drinking family but a family nonetheless.

The palace staff treat him like a stranger, like a predator. Like at any moment Zuko is going to order for their execution just because they dropped a plate.

They treat him like his father.

And that, that more than anything is why he hates being the fire lord.

Sighing to himself Zuko clambers to his feet and wanders back in through the palace doors.

What he would give for one of Uncle’s useless proverbs right now.

~

It started, as most things did, with a cup of tea.

After staying up so late that his vision blurred and then unsuccessfully trying to sleep, tossing and turning through the early hours of morning Zuko decided to give up. Pulling a robe over his sleeping clothes he blearily made his way down to the kitchens ignoring his guards (and really, _guards_ ) mind set on making a cup of tea. Of course it wouldn’t be as good as his Uncle’s but he had become pretty damn good at it with his stint in Ba Sing Se.

When he makes it into the kitchen he’s shocked to find that it isn't empty. Any lulling soft conversation however halts when he walks into the room. Trying not to pay any attention to the tense kitchen staff Zuko tries to mooch around his own kitchen in peace. It's only when he has the water boiling does he turn to his staff who are all sat around the old wooden table.

“Do you want some tea as well?” he asks in hopes of alleviating the tension. It works, but not in the way he expects. Instead of taking him up on his offer the staff in front of him share stupefied looks as though they can’t comprehend that he’s talking to them. But at least they didn’t look like he was about to blow up the room.

Considering none of them had actually answered his question by the time the water had boiled Zuko simply set about making his own tea. It was that action that seemed to jolt them out of their shock.

“Fire Lord Zuko allow me to make your tea” says one of the servers and Zuko really should find out what all their names are come to think of it. Zuko waves her off gently.

“If I can’t even make my own tea then there’s no way I can run a country” he jokes and takes a sip of his tea. Honestly he still doesn’t even like tea that much but it is comforting. It reminds him of uncle and safety and simpler times.

Although saying that when he had been a traitor of the nation was a simpler time probably said something about how he was coping.

None of the staff laugh at his somewhat joke but Zuko hadn’t expected them too. The fact that none of them have tried to run out of the kitchen yet was quite inspiring really. And it had allowed Zuko enough time to make his tea in somewhat peace.

Pushing himself off the counter Zuko held his cup close to his chest as he navigated his way out of the kitchen. It’s all just sort of odd really, Zuko would hate to leave things on this weird note and so before he slips out of the door he turns back to face the still somewhat wary kitchen staff.

“Maybe we can all have tea next time”

And with that awkward, but no longer horribly tense note, Zuko returns to his room.

He could get another hour of sleep. Maybe.

~

The kitchen server who had offered to make him tea was called Niya. Zuko has bumped into her in the kitchens three times since then and every time she has refused his offer of tea.

But that didn’t mean things weren’t changing.

Zuko has no idea why Niya was always awake at night and he never told her why he always stumbled into the kitchen to make tea but they speak about other things. Like that Niya has a husband who has thankfully returned home from the war and how her brother hadn’t been so lucky. But she also tells him she has a child who is the light of her life and how _proud_ she is of him. Zuko in turn tells her how he and Uncle had to hide in Ba Sing Se and that’s where he had learned how to make tea that wasn’t absolutely deplorable. They rarely discuss the topic but the war hangs over the room, like it hangs over all of them.

He has a feeling Niya is actually a bit of a gossip because oblivious as he is, he still hears snatches of conversation between the kitchen staff that usually revolve around the lines of ‘he worked _where?’_ or even better “the fire lord had a _job?”_

So now, occasionally, other kitchen staff greet Zuko whenever they see him rummaging through the cupboards in search of jasmine or mint and each time Zuko feels the usually cold palace grow a bit warmer.

But that doesn’t mean others aren’t ridiculously wary of him.

His seamstress barely speaks whenever he has to be measured for new outfits and his guards barely speak to him outside of an occasional ‘good morning’

It's so _lonely_ and Zuko has no idea how to change it. How do you prove you’re not a lunatic except from _not_ acting like a lunatic? Because Zuko thinks he’s been acting perfectly sane these past few months and that has done nothing to change their opinions.

Turning back to the multiple trade deals he has yet to sort through Zuko sighs despairingly before an idea strikes him. Why should he stay cooped up in his office when he could handle boring administration literally anywhere in the palace? It was his palace.

Gathering the mind-numbingly boring forms into a folder Zuko set off at a brisk pace towards the turtleduck pond. He could do his work in the sunshine and if he came across any deals or demands that made him mad he could just say that the turtleducks ate it.

A perfect plan.

With a bounce in his steps Zuko continues to walk through the castle questioning how he has never thought of doing this before when out of nowhere he feels a presence pop up beside him.

Dropping his papers Zuko jumps back into a fire bending stance and only calms down when he sees it was one of his own guards that had managed to surprise him.

“Agni” Zuko chokes out and starts gathering his papers, ignoring the guards babbling pleas and apologies for now “You’d think you guards would know better than to sneak up on someone”

“Fire lord Zuko” the man stutters, Tusa, if he isn’t mistaken “my deepest apologies please-

Zuko cut him off with a wave of his hand and almost drops his papers again “Don’t worry about it, just please don’t sneak up on me again. You’re lucky I wasn’t holding my dao swords” he jokes miserably as the two guards in front of him shuffle nervously. He was trying to get out of administration duties by pretending the turtleducks ate his files, how much more _not_ intimidating could he get?

“D-dao swords? Fire lord Zuko?” the other guard asks and Zuko stares at him in confusion. Everyone in the palace knew Zuko had trained with swords when he was younger because of his ‘miserable fire bending’. Unless these two were new?

“My doa swords? I used them as the blue spirit you know” Zuko points out and starts making his way down the hall.

“The blue spirit?” Tusa yelps “but- but he broke into the Pohuai Stronghold”

“It was pretty easy” Zuko says before halting mid-step “in fact I should look into that shouldn’t I?”

Just another thing he’d have to add to the list.

After that incident his guards seem to be less hesitant around him which is a good thing. And Tusa never sneaks up behind him from his left side again. In fact more often than not Zuko, even with his meagre conversation skills, is able to drag his two guards into conversation as they follow him around the castle.

It's still strange, to be followed around so much, but at least now he has company instead of another set of shadows.

~

Zuko hates council meetings.

The council is full of stuck up liars who still somehow have enough standing that Zuko can’t just get rid of them. They were either fearful or they hate him and there is no in between and frankly Zuko’s quite sick of it. But there is nothing he can do, he is young and inexperienced and he needs them to help him, at least for now.

Even if he wants nothing more than to just punch one of them.

But Zuko had worked in a tea shop. Not only that but he had worked in _customer service._

These politicians had absolutely nothing on the old grandma who had complained that her tea ‘tasted like mint’

(She had ordered _mint tea_ )

So Zuko can deal with council meetings, provided he is allowed to let off some steam afterwards. But when he arrives in the court yard after another draining council meeting he finds it already occupied by his guard who are in the middle of training. Once they notice Zuko’s presence they all came to a halt, standing stiffly although Tusa was notably more relaxed.

“Fire Lord Zuko” Yiza, the head of the guard greets “what brings you here today?”

Zuko tries not to shuffle nervously “Well I was actually hoping to run through some kata’s? Council meetings always make me kind of want to set something on fire”

The group tense even more at that. Great going Zuko. How had befriending the avatar been easier than befriending his own staff?

Yiza steps forward and smiles at him, it was only a small thing but it immediately put Zuko more at ease.

“Why don’t you run some Kata’s with us Fire Lord Zuko? I’m sure you must have picked up on some interesting techniques with the Avatar”

Zuko didn’t know how to tell them that their new leader was decidedly unremarkable. Instead he did what he does best – he bluffed.

“Well there is one you might not have heard of” Zuko says as all the guards immediately perk up “you ever heard of the dancing dragon?”

And with that Zuko forgets all about the stress of his council meeting.

It becomes a regular occurrence after that – to come down to the courtyard after dealing with stuffy nobles for hours on end. And eventually the royal guard start warming up to him. More friendly and less tense than before.

And after, with his guards finally seeing him as _Zuko_ and not just his father, the palace seems to be a bit brighter.

~

“Look” Zuko says tiredly and resists the urge to pinch his nose “I just don’t like palanquins”

“Fire Lord Zuko” the man at his feet blubbers “please tell us how we can be satisfactory, we would not want to-

“It’s not any fault on your parts I just-

Zuko cuts himself off when he can see his words were having no effect on the panicked staff in front of him. They probably thought they were going to be fired or executed.

“Listen” Zuko says because the only way to deal with this is to act like an actual adult and explain what the problem is “for the past four years I have been an exile to this nation. I’m not used to this palace and I’m not used to travelling in palanquins. My preferred mode of the transport in the earth kingdom was an ostrich-horse”

The staff in front of him are no longer panicked which is win. Zuko would take shocked and confused over crying any day.

“So I don’t like the palanquins but that doesn’t mean I’m going to fire you” Zuko says easily and the staff in front of him let out a huge collective sigh of relief.

“The- then what would you have us do Fire Lord Zuko?” the man asks bravely and Zuko tries to smile but he’s sure it comes out more tired than he wanted it to.

“Well we just so happen to have a lot of khomodo-rhinos with nowhere to go. Anyone here want to become a new carriage driver?”

They all leap at the chance.

Another crisis, averted.

He learns that his new carriage driver is called Zosai and his daughter went to school with the avatar which is something Zuko never expected to hear. Apparently when Aang had infiltrated the fire nation he had been dragged into one of their private schools for a few days.

Zuko can’t even give the man an explanation, just a helpless shrug and a ‘Aang’s just like that’

It’s the truth but he can tell it just confuses the man even more.

Of course he doesn’t always have the same carriage driver, there's four of them who rotate depending on the day and even though Zuko prefers to walk into the city he makes sure to use the carriage occasionally. Not only does it give his staff an actual job but the conversation is usually quite entertaining.

Probably more for Zuko than anyone else. He can understand why his Uncle always enjoys being so vague and cryptic.

“Were you at the siege on the Northern Water tribe Fire Lord Zuko?” Solun asks curiously and Zuko nods. They’re on their way to the Pohuai stronghold to check on how Zuko’s new orders were being implemented. He wonders what made her ask that in the first place before he realises Niya has probably been gossiping again.

“Uncle tried to stop Zhao killing the moon spirit”

Silence.

“Zhao…killed the moon spirit?” she repeats floundering and Zuko nods trying desperately not to laugh “but we still have? the moon?”

“Sokka’s girlfriend turned into the moon spirit” Zuko replies perfectly deadpan. If he knew he could bond with his staff so easily he would have started telling his absolutely ridiculous stories a lot earlier.

“That’s-

“Rough. I know”

Solun isn't Sokka. His friends are spread all over the world right now but slowly, with every passing day, he's starting to feel a little less alone.

~

The changes aren’t that noticeable but Zuko can still feel the difference. Months ago his staff wouldn’t look him in the eyes. They saw him as another tyrant, another monster to be feared. Zuko couldn’t say when just exactly it had started to change – but it did.

Now the palace staff smile at him when he walks by. They laugh about his obsession with turtleducks and Niya joins him for tea and lets Zuko slag off stuffy nobles who irritate him. His guards are always happy to see him and when Zuko joins in their practices they all leave feeling brighter and happier. He knows everyone's names, knows that there’s a music night every Thursday and he knows there’s a betting pool on when Solun and Shai will get together.

And most importantly he now no longer feels so lonely.

For the first time in a long time, he finally feels that he is home.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys, hope you liked it, feel free to yell at me in the comments or at my tumblr ofwordsandroses. 
> 
> thanks for reading!


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